Friends! Romans! Generation-Yers! Lend me your feeble attention spans. I come to bury the blog you know, not praise it. Far too long have our excursions into blogger-dom been plagued by stagnant pools of cyber-drivel. These are the days of rampant social media, when any thought, no matter its significance, spews forth eagerly and haphazardly into a hissing, bubbling pot of Facebook, Twitter, and other Me! Me! Me! accounts. Tools fit for sharpening the public discourse have, tragically, served to dull it, and any perusal of the web leaves one caked in horrendous grammar, vapid Tweets, and links to quasi-amusing YouTube uploads, soon to ride the rickety runaway wagon into the Gorge of Forgotten Memes.
In acknowledging the unfilled potential of our Netscape landscape, I invite you, dear reader, to join me in unfurling the banner and uniting under the motto “Bringing Substance Back to Nonsense.” The average blogger is a painfully self-righteous, self-promoting twit, one whose midnight ramblings appeal to only his innermost circle of Cheeto-munchin’ chums. And while I may be a self-righteous twit, “Enter Joe Smiley” aims higher. Here, the virtual pages teem not with incessant, mundane updates regarding my fizzling love life, but instead a potpourri of classic rock and Muppet references, top-ten lists, ramblings, alliterations and the occasional blistering diatribe, topped with a dash of long-winded, self-aware vainglory. It’s substance in a world of nonsense, and it’s actually worth reading!
So grab a folding chair and a notepad, ladies and gentlemen, and watch as I substitute the bullhorn for the blog and preach to the passersby on my little exit of the information superhighway!